Started off the day with screaming from Rylee with a continuous repeating of "cup" "cup" "cup"! And no it does not stop! Miss Rylee can be like an awful record on repeat. She just won't stop! Add in Trents whining from his lovely digestive issues, Holidays or vacations away you can guarantee constipation. Sunny our fat cat thinking she's starving and Harley throwing up on the floor. I was crazy before I even downed my first cup of coffee, begging for patience and peace for the day! All that on top of my urge to start an all out fight with my allergies and things were starting out just wonderful! On a good note things did get a bit better. After mineral oil yesterday, a fruit and veggie diet for two days and milk magnesium and a subpository this morning Trent finally went to the bathroom!!! Ugh! Thought maybe just maybe he would out grow this awful curse, but nope! Today constipation, tomorrow the opposite...but hopefully back to school! So see that's good! And then my Dad and Steve worked on the deck for a short time in between rain. So progress!! Decided since the day was going so well I would write Olivianas Grandma and see how things were going.....not what I wanted to hear. Apparently we were great candidates but our location was the issue. So I'm sad. And more then that just confused. Why was that door even ever opened???!!! Why the call, why the anticipation and excitement only to have the door slammed in our face! I may never understand. But God has a reason and still does I'm sure. Doesn't help me feel better right now though...I really got my hopes up there and I shouldn't have. Court lasted an hour and 3/4 today, so long and drawn out!! And so incredibly frustrating!!! Heart breaking even! I just don't understand why I need to be there and endure that....worst part of fostering so far! However Rylee is staying in our home and we're pretty happy with that! Came home to asking if Steve could take care of dinner for us, I swear my anxiety and stress comes afterwards when I have a second to evaluate all that happened and feel I can file it away in my head. Weird but how I work. Before hand I avoid and ignore and say I'm completely fine...on the outside and subconsciously scream on the inside. Can't explain it to well. So I just can't wait for bedtime and quiet time. A fresh start in the morning! Cause to be honest, today just sucks! Sorry for the nasty use of that word but it does.
Gonna finish this blog by saying how very thankful I am for a God who loves me and takes care of me and knows what's best for me! Doesn't mean days won't completely stink and we won't struggle and have periods of time where we just wanna throw in the towel. But tomorrow is new and one day all this will be gone! I'm going to choose to focus....or try to focus on all that! Cause man today I could easily get sucked into poor me, all I want is babies and a full house and a hig family....why why why!!!!
God IS good...ALL THE TIME!
You hang in there girl. God is only giving you what you can handle. The thing that's good, is RyleeBug is staying. So you do have a full circle of a family. A boy & a girl to love with all your heart. Those 2 little ones are getting so much love & by You two giving them all God's love & teaching is wonderful. I praise you for all your doing and you are good. I love You so much, love Aunt Jeanette
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