Ever have a time or two when after all was played out you just simply wish you would have stuck your foot in your mouth simply to shut yourself up? And hey that's a beautiful foot but it's better to look at then suck on! As super confusing at it sounds I think I'm subconsciously super stressed out about this month and all it can bring. I'm drinking coffee non stop which may seem odd, but to me a resent X-smoker it's taking the "edge" off. Anyways, this month is the month CYS petitions the court to take parental rights away from Rylee's biological parents. I never thought this day would come! I never believed when we signed on for foster parents that we would get a baby and never the less have the option to possibly adopt the first child in our home. AAAAAAhhhhhhhh!!!!! Stress headaches are the worst and I don't even know why I have one. I know God is in control! I know HIS will will be done. SO WHATS THE PROBLEM??!!! ME! I'm the problem, that control thing again! Currently I have no control over this and I'm losing it! Lately I've been feeling overly emotional about my stand on things and I've opened my mouth more then once shoving my opinion down peoples throats! I'm kicking myself for it and I feel so foolish for it! It's truly not me to wanna start something and I did just that recently and I'm more then a bit embarrassed. I'm so gung ho on protecting children and loving people and kindness that I have been getting overly annoyed with people and their need to protect innocent animals! I'm not going to get into it because I'm not willing to step on peoples toes again and I'm not willing to work myself up over this, again! I love people, I care deeply for people! And more then that I'm huge into protecting voiceless, innocent children. Fostering is not for everyone and I know that, it's not even remotely easy for me! I just see post after post on caring and loving animals and I get so disgusted! Not against animals but against my on individual thoughts and judgement call on thinking people care more for animals then people. And while I still believe that, I can keep my thoughts to myself and simply shut up! Don't get me wrong I'm very strong willed and opinionated and I'm beyond passionate. I will voice my opinion when asked but I don't normally go out on a limb to start something, to grab peoples negative attention and that is what I did! Oh my do I wish I could turn back time! And once obviously wasn't good enough, I had to go do it again! Anyways so apologies were in order and while I will feel foolish for a day or two I will get over it and I hope others will as well. So my prayer for this month is peace, Lord give me peace! And please stop being confused as to how I have tied Animals and children together and have gotten super annoyed....DON'T ASK! In my mind right now they are very much so annoyingly tied together! Oh how this has become a vent session.....
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Lets start fresh!!! Isn't it a wonderful feeling to know that we can simply start fresh, anytime, God makes all things new again! AMEN!!!! I love New years! I love the feeling it brings! Okay lets be honest, I love that but more then that, I love tax return time and that's what the New Year brings!!! But this year for me it's starting a few things off different. I've had to kick myself into starting off this year right. I quit smoking the week before Thanksgiving!!! I've also gotten on top of a budget and man what took me SO incredibly LONG!!!! Grrr, but lets skip the crying and kicking myself again and move forward. I'm so happy to finally be starting a Bible study!!! Me and two other ladies I've been getting to know are starting a study together and going to get together once a month for a ladies night and to encourage each other and discuss Extraordinary Faith that we are going to read together!!! I'm more then excited and it's so over due! Another start to this year is my parents moving to town! I got to help my Dad with work already and that's another blessing! Don't get me wrong I'm no longer a fan of physical labor but the extra money for house projects is much appreciated!!! Yeah we exchange goods, I help my Dad and he helps us!!! I'm also looking to homeschooling Trent so pray for that decision as my Mom is helping me figure out which path we wanna go there. It's going to be a good year, do you feel it??!! so many other things I wanna say and yet Trent neeeeeeeds Chocolate milk and Rylee is ready for bed, so another time and I promise it wont be to long from now!
