Listening to Itunes radio and a song I have not heard in a long time has just come on. He Carries the weight of the world upon His shoulders. Wow! And He carries me! Do we honestly even grasp that? Do we truly understand all that means? We aren't alone, we don't hold the weight of the world on our shoulder, Jesus will hold it all for us? But today all I've been driven to think about is are we helping others carry their burden? Or are we loading them with even a more heavy one?
Ive recently been really struggling with how people respond to others, how we treat each other, how are words and actions come across and how absolutely absent minded we are. Do we simply not care? Or do we care more about gossip, our own opinions, judging and coming to our own conclusions then actually loving and caring about people? I love people. My heart aches for those that are aching and I can't stand not being able to fix it! But more then that my heart aches for those who simply don't get it! My heart breaks for believers who are doing more damage then good. Turning others away because they simply don't grasp loving others like Jesus and treating them kind, carrying their burdens with them, praying for them, being there for them, putting ourselves aside for others. I am in no way perfect, I fall short all the time so I'm probably the last person that should be saying any of this. I just really want to make people aware...it matters! What we do and say matters! I have listened to so many people lately crying their eyes out about how hurt they are by "church people" people who are to be different. I know as a believer we aren't perfect, we're all still human but what are we portraying to those around us? Are we really wanting people to think we don't care? Or do we simply not care?!
I find is so discouraging to hear of people making judgment calls on other peoples lives, gossiping about them, tearing them down when they don't even know all the information. And yet they say they care and love that person and only want the best for them. That information goes from one mouth to the next and by the time it gets back to the person it's about it is so distorted and hurtful and yet it was coming from love and not malice. I see people who need others hurdled around them in a time of need only to find the people they expected there were the first to bail. I have listened to so many people ache for a relationship with God and yet find the people who they thought would be there for them and help them grow be the first to turn them the opposite direction by their actions. So many people label "church people" as the biggest hypocrites and don't get why they should go to church if the things they do aren't any different then church goers? Are we different? And outside of being a believer are we simply different because we want others to be different? Do we even care?!
I don't know. I just want people to open their eyes! Why can't they see that what they do and say hurts people?! When people around us, stranger, friends, family are struggling why are we gossiping and not helping? Why are we backing away instead of embracing? Why do we find it so easy to talk rather then do? And why do we say its out of love when it's out of selfishness. People need people...they need to know we love them and care. They need to feel Jesus' love through us.
I have seen strangers, friends and family hurting in life and yet the thing that hurts them the most is how others make that hurt worse. I'm a pretty strong person, if you hurt me I'll probably ignore it. I'm not perfect and I never expect others to be. I forgive when needed and I apologize when thats needed. I sometimes hurt others when I'm not even trying to do that and all the things listed above i have done one time or another. God has changed my heart so much in the last year and I just ache for those around me. I truly see people who just simply don't care, they say they love Jesus and the last thing they are showing others is that same love. I guess I'm judging....I just get so confused about what we think is okay and acceptable anymore. Swearing, drinking, are clothes, gossiping, treating people unkind, are conduct in general. What are we saying to those around us? Or do we simply not care?!
I believe whole heartily that as a believer we are to be set apart. People are to know us by are deeds, our actions, are love, our kindness. I wanna live my life the best I can, I want others to know Jesus because of who I am and what he has done for me. I want them to look at me and know I am different....I never want anyone to question my faith and why I live the way I do. I want them to simply know I love Jesus and this is why I choose to be different. And I want them to know I care!
Is it really that time of year already?
This summer has simply flown right past us. And really here in Elk County we barely had a hot summer. Maybe a month of hotness for swimming and such. But no complaining here. While I love the heat. On visits to Lancaster County that humidity was a killer. Plus our electric bills hasn't been out of this world so that's deftly a blessing!!! Seriously though my tomatoes which are growing crazily in my garden have still yet to change to red! Oh I hope and pray they do!!! I can't express how much I love canning and freezing goodies from the summer months!!! And hold off on saying it's fall just yet....beach trip tomorrow for a few days!! Woohoo!!!! I can't wait!!! It's been a few years since we've gotten down there. I called my Great Aunt to check on availability for her beach condo and sadly she is selling it and this will most likely be our last time to enjoy it :( so we will enjoy away!!! And I canNOT wait to spend some quality, much needed time alone with my amazing husband. We've left Trent one time ever for time away and that was for one night, so this is very much needed. We celebrated our 12 year anniversary in August and this is our gift to ourselves. Why is it we feel so guilty leaving our kiddos behind? Steve and I love family activities and so we just always want the kids with us and therefore we've just gotten so accustomed to taking them every where with us. If we got to do things more like beach trips and away trips we might feel different but when we do get to do special things we want to do them as a family. Since moving it has been so hard having time alone and date nights? What are those? Haven't had one of those since last fall I believe. So needless to say I'm so incredibly excited that my parents are willng to keep the kiddos for two days and then bring them down to the beach with us and spend a few days as a family!!!
Guess it's time for an update on Life....
Trent started HeadStart this week and he loves it!!! He begged and begged to go to school, just didn't understand why his friends couldn't play and were in school and he wasn't. What a blessing that school is! 4 days a week 8-2 and free!!! He even gets free breakfast and lunch!! When his IU9 teacher brought the school to my attention and recommended I got on their waiting list I thought he'll never get in, it's for low income families and we wont qualify. Well apparently they have to let so many children above the income limit in according to their government regulations. So an amazing answer to prayers!!! Plus his one teacher goes to our church so just another blessing for this nervous momma. Another great blessing, next week Awana starts here as well and I can't wait to start taking Trent to that. He loves being social and having structured settings, he thrives on it! Plus nothing beats Trent sharing about learning about His Jesus :)
Sweet little Rylee. Again as I've said SO many times, what a little blessing she is. She is teaching me so much..or Jesus is! Patience and understanding! Something I've always battled with. This little girl can be such a hand full and yet the next time you turn around she gives a huge bear hug and a kiss and she melts your heart. I've never had to deal with such craziness as I do with her, and what a drama queen she is. But what a personality. She's finally starting to grow and get meat on her little bones. Docs were rather concerned for a while cause she simply wasn't gaining weight at all. Now she's 17lbs at 15 months and eats like crazy as she always has and shes so mobile and gets into everything!!! She loves playing and gets pretty much every toy out in her site. I'm convinced she can't stand things being cleaned...messy girl for sure!!! As for her Mom, sadly she is back in a half way house and wont be getting out till November. Court is next month and so we will deftly be keeping her again till at least April when our next court date will be. However in January CYS will petition the court to take moms rights away. Such a sad sad thing to understand. And yes since everyone keeps asking, if Rylee comes up for adoption will we keep her...YES! How could we ever not?! God brought this little girl into our lives for a reason and so if God wants this little girl to stay here He will make a way for that to happen as well.
Steve is still working hard in the woods. Work has been horrible this year. Rain rain and more rain keeping the loggers out of the woods. Ya know, somedays I just could complain all day about our crazy messed up finances and yet God knows, He provides. Steve can get pretty discouraged at times about our move and his job and our financial situation. I just try to encourage at all times. To constantly remind him that we are taken care of. That every time something comes up that God provides a way. We make mistakes financial all the time, I still screw up our bank account and we never save for future stuff and I stink at budgeting things. But over and over again God provides for us and takes care of us...regardless of me! Isn't that enough to just trust in Him? Steve had a side job he just finished and I was lucky enough to help my Dad twice last week with a job. And now another neighbor asked Steve about another side job last night...just another huge blessing!!! Yes we are never a head on anything and just when we think money is there to pay one thing another thing happens, it's deftly discouraging! But God is constantly providing a way. I have looked into job after job to help us a bit and yet nothing works around Trents school schedule and Rylee. I guess I could make tons of excuses but people do it, but for us, me being at home is currently where I need to be. So we pray, try to constantly be smart and simply trust God to continue providing our needs. PLUS for God to smash a hammer on our hands when we are reaching into our pockets to spend money foolishly! My husband is such a hard worker, nothing makes him more happy then to constantly have his hands busy doing something constructive and I couldn't thank God enough for a man that loves providing for his family. I do pray for constant contentment for Steve, that He will have a settled happy trusting content heart. He can quickly get very caught up in the negatives and be swept away in self pity and that breaks my heart. God is SO incredibly good and I just wish he could see through the fog and just trust that!
As for me. God has opened my eyes to what my purpose is in life and why I am where I am and what I need to be doing. I never thought years ago that I would need to step out of my comfort zone and be who I know I need to be now. God has opened my heart to people. People I never would have opened my heart and mind to before. All judgment aside and open arms. I've always prayed for an open door in my home and heart. And God is teaching me patience and understanding, something I've battled for years. I'm starting to truly understand Jesus' love for people and I'm praying daily to share a piece of that to others around me. Man that simply makes me choke up! I wanna show Jesus' love through me at all times! Nothing beats a table at dinner time with two extra boys at, one who has joined us a few times before, we go to pray and that little boy grabs my hand. We are showing others what Jesus means to us even in a simply dinner time prayer. Sweet little Rylee even has her hands and arms out knowing to get that food we have to hold hands first. #hugesmileonmyface
Something else thats been on my mind a lot lately is my Grandpa. He has Alzheimer and after wondering from his home last week and falling he was taken into a home. It was time. However the other night Walk the Line was on tv and nothing makes me smile more then knowing how excited my Grandpa is to share over and over again how he met Jonny Cash at the Reinholds carnival. And every Christmas and Thanksgiving you can guarantee he will ask my Dad to play the Jonny Cash movie. My Grandpa years and years ago was scorn by his divorce with my Grandma. He became a hermit. Never did anything with himself. Didn't keep up with his looks grew out his hair and beard, his house hasn't changed since my Grandma left, just simply let everything go. He retired early and besides going to a diner and the gym everyday he did nothing with himself. Pretty much shut down to the world just angry at how his life turned out. However my Grandpa knows Jesus and if he passed away today I know where he will be. Nothing excites me more then to know my Dad has talked to his Dad about this and we can all rest assured knowing someday my Grandpa will be celebrating with Jesus. I love my Grandpa. And I didn't see him often besides cleaning his home for him and taking him dinners and holidays and yet I have good memories of him. He loved my Grandma and his divorce and thoughts on marriage are crushing and his negatives towards that can be hard to hear. I know my Dad can look back and not have such great memories of the things his Dad did with him and the time spent together. But I praise my Dad for his love for his Dad even still. My Dad has deftly showed me to treats others how you want to be treated and not how you were treated. Thats his Dad and regardless he loves him. My Grandpa has shown me what divorce can do to people, he has spent years living in that moment, never getting past it. He has shown me what love he had for my Grandma, but he maybe learned a lesson WAY to late. What my Dad has shown me...LOVE! My Grandpa, my Dad, mom, friends, kids someday they will be gone. One day some of our loved ones may come to a point where they don't even know us anymore. Love them now. Show them what they mean to you while you can. Spend time with those you love and care about. Make them feel of worth, that at the end of everyday they know where they stand with you and so they never have to question that in the end. My biggest peeve right now is technology. Everyones on a device, we can't go a minute without checking our phones, ipad, ipods, etc. We feel because we're in the same room or building as someone we're spending time with them. And yet how alone we can still make someone feel...get off your device and engage in the people around you! Tomorrow those people may not be there and how will you feel then??
Happy Hump Day all!!!!
