As I contemplated how I would start my week I was oddly saddened by the realization of how quiet and almost boring our house would be, and let me tell you our house is never boring! But for me and the week I had last week, this week is starting off like a vacation. And let me just say it....I miss the crazyness!!!!! Where's the noise and busy-ness and running around with no sitting down time?! I miss Oliviana!!!!
Here's a bit of info on how we got to get Miss Livy for the week.....
A few months ago, maybe even as far back as Thanksgiving, my Grandma mentioned her sisters sons girlfriend (can you follow that train?!) has a grandbaby that they maybe looking to adopt out. That they just can't handle a baby. They wanted to know what we thought. So I told my Grandma that I think it's a bad decision to consider splitting up siblings, Yes there is a brother, but that if they needed our help we would be there. I didn't get my hopes up just told her we'll see what happens. So all these months have gone past and we got a call again from my Grandma. I still wasn't sure how serious this family was. But my Dad made some calls to his Aunt and we set up a meet. A little over a week ago we met with Oliviana's Grandma and her at my Great Aunts house. Got some info on the family...Mom has been in and out of rehab and Dad is doing 5-10 in prison. Sad story. Grandma has been raising her Grandson since birth and he is now just turning 6. Oliviana officially came to live with her in October but was coming off and on since birth. Grandma just doesn't have the time for a baby. Oliviana spends almost all her time in daycare. I think it's a super selfless act for Grandma to realize she can't give Oliviana what she needs. Money can't but what this little girl truly needs....so they wanted a trial run and we committed!! And our crazy week began....
Imagine this picture above, minus the gloves and two very crazy, aggressive, demanding, stubborn little girls! Yes, there was many full out Brawls! I can't even describe how crazy loud and nuts our house was. All I can say is that by the Grace of God I was surrounded by peace and calmness the whole time! I tell you I am meant for this job! And I know....God knew that all along! But seriously you just never know till you are in those shoes. Oliviana has a lot to learn. "No" was not a word she recognized and being told anything just went over her head. Tantrums are a mild word for what she would do when not getting her way. Two months apart in age from Rylee and they are so different in the things they can do. Rylee says 2-3 word sentences and Livy maybe 1-2 words. Rylee uses a spoon and fork and I'm pretty sure Livy had no clue what they even were. A bottle, which I broke the first day! But she's smart and as the week progressed she was catching on. It's simply someone putting in the time and teaching her, loving her, and showing her what a family is and that she's important and cared for.
See I thrive in chaos and I'm bored with the "norm". Give me crazy and I'm happy! I can't stand sitting around and not feeling like I have stuff to do all the time! And I'm not talking the normal stuff, give me more! And yes I run things a certain way and I like doing it alone so to speak, I don't like help cause it just messes up all thats in its place in my head. Haha! Makes sense to me even if not to you! This is how God made me and He knew what I would be good for and thats this crazy huge family I see in our future!!!! Now if only some farm house and some land was added to that....a dream :) God has such HUGE plans for our family and I can't even describe how it makes me feel inside!!!!!!
So now we wait. The part I AM NOT good at!!! I miss Oliviana and I don't know if she will return. Other families are being tried :( and thats a good thing and I know that. I know God opened this door for a reason and he has a plan either way. The quiet house is bringing me down and while I knew last week was a trial it was a lot harder to come home from dropping her off then I anticipated. I'm also struggling with Rylee....her "mom" is currently doing everything required to get her back and next week is court. Reality is she could go home. I know this! I do....but at this point I don't want her to. She deftly holds a huge part in our hearts. As did Oliviana even in the short week she was here. These precious little girls just need a family and love and that's all I pray for them!!! So I feel like things are way too in limbo for me and I have no control and at times I feel I can't breath. But then I'm reminded God opened these doors for a reason and ever since the beginning, finding out our "family" wouldn't be made the "normal" way I knew we would still have a family. A big one and I know God hears my cries, loves me and wants only the best for us and will do great things either way! He is good and loves me!
And what do I do when I feel overwhelmed? I pile things on. So this week I'm helping out at Trents school, making Easter candy, getting an estimate for a deck and hopefully getting that in the works :), cleaning (spring), yard work cause it's gonna be a beautiful week, believe it!, and who knows what else I can jam in! Oh yeah my grandparents are coming to town, woohoo!!!!! I hope everyone has a wonderful start to their week!
This is my tune for the week.....
Well said. Love You Girl.
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