Monday, March 16, 2015

Mustard seeds, death and faith that moves mountains.





     Sheila Walsh you deftly get my mind moving. As I'm working my way through Extraordinary Faith and the study that comes with it I'm finding myself having to research things a bit just to understand them more for myself. Faith like a "mustard seed". I'm sure we've all heard that a time or two but have we really understood it? The smallest of seeds. Tiny! The tiniest amount of faith and with that God can move a mountain. WOW! You get that? Truly get that? Cause it's not even about us, in the least bit. God is saying just have faith in me, trust me and that alone is all he wants. Too often we make it about us. If we do this, then that will happen and if we do that, that will happen. As if we control what God can do and has done. How foolish!!!! Recently someone told me that they were approached during a hard time in their lives by someone and this person said to them that maybe they don't believe in God enough and that is why this horrible thing happened to them. HA! As if we hold the power to control what the God of the universe does! How sad on SO many levels. I've been trying to read up more and more on Abraham and how his faith goes beyond anything I can ever imagine...at least thats how I feel today but I pray that someday my faith will be that strong. He had enough faith in God that when God told him he needed to sacrifice his son, the son he waited years for and loved more then anything, he obeyed. He had faith that God would follow through with His promise and either not allow Abraham to kill his son or revive him after the fact. Can you imagine? Can you even grasp that amount of faith and trust? Cause I can't and I pray that someday I will. Although I also believe God gives us that trust and faith in the midst of a trial and we will only understand it fully at that very time...so for now I start with a mustard seed. God meets us where we are at and for that I am so incredibly thankful. 

I've been struggling lately with my frustration  with being a "mom" to Rylee. Doing what God has called me to do as a foster mom. Love her. Care for her. My frustration with the system and biological mom leads me to put up huge walls around my heart. One day we feel we're closer to adoption, the next day it's the reality that Rylee is NOT ours and can leave our home at any day and at any time. Some days I feel it's a complete tease. I never thought we would even be asked to adopt Rylee. I never thought we would even get close to it. And here we are and I get my hopes up thinking all this time and effort is worth it cause the goal is adoption. But that isn't the goal. The goal is loving and caring for this little girl, doing the job God has set before me. Its not about me and some days I make it about me and my desires and then all I do is battle myself. I feel defeated and my frustration comes through with how I care for this little girl. How foolish right? Then I sit and think why would God allow this little girl to stay in my home when I can act so foolish? ITS NOT ABOUT ME!!!! 

My prayer is to start with my tiny mustard seed of faith and pray that I can just build on that. Grow. Learn. Understand God is in control and to trust in him. He loves me and wants the best for me. That doesn't mean trials wont come. Life can be hard and life can be SO SO good! But all along the way HE is in control and if I trust in Him I can rest assured all is well and all is taken care of. 

Here is a few things I highlighted in my Extraordinary Faith book that I feel I should share....Again READ it! Great book!!!

Hebrews 13:5 "I Will Be There!"

"Whatever you are facing right now, be it the worst of times or the best, remember you are loved by a God who spared nothing of Himself to show His faithfulness. 

There is a green hill far away, outside a city wall, Where the dear Lord was crucified, who died to save us all. O dearly, dearly, has He loved, and we must love Him, too, And trust in His redeeming blood, and try His works to do. We may not know, we cannot tell, what pains He had to bear; But we believe it was for us He hung and suffered there. -Cecil F. Alexander ......THINK ABOUT THAT FOR A BIT!!!!!

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