One of those days.

Yes this is how I'm feeling right now. One of those days I guess. Feeling a tad overwhelmed and stressed out. Sorta maybe even just emotional. My allergies are horrible...I don't get it! I take 3 different medications (MucinexD, Nasonex, and Zyrtec) on a daily basis and yet every morning it takes everything in me to get up and get moving. And yes I know that its completely nothing compared to real medical issues people suffer from, I'm lucky! 

 Anyways then I went over our bills and banking and that made me just close the laptop and run away...haha...literally!!! Think I'll just keep running from that one and just say avoidance is the key. I frustrate myself all the time with that. I'm horrible at banking. I screw up our banking every other week probably. I figure in my little head if I just keep avoiding looking at the balance it just doesn't exist and then when I do finally check it I'm kicking myself over and over again for my screw ups and yet never learning my lesson. See when you have no money whats there to keep checking, right? Hey God is good and he takes care of our family and we have everything we ever could need and to me that's all that matter...why stress about the rest! 

Then I go run errands and my one stop was the pharmacy and of course my insurance doesn't wanna cover my one prescription. Guess I should be thankful though. Up till this point our new insurance has never given me a problem and with being on two very expensive medications (Nasonex and Nexium) and not having to fight with them monthly about it I should be happy. But today I just want my medication. My face has been breaking out for whatever reason lately and I just want my cream to make it stop and nope can't get it! THANKS!!! Pay out with discount cards $105......

On to the grocery store. Elk County Foods is the closest choice and also the expensive one. I'm rolling my eyes in irritation with that. When moneys tight and all I need is a few things running 20 minutes to Walmart seems like such a total waste in gas and yet when I see the prices I'm paying at the nearest store I'm again kicking myself! My butts pretty sore today from all this kicking!!! But hey they bag your groceries, load the cart and load your vehicle then so I guess that's a win! 

Then lets talk about my major struggle lately, the thing I've been hiding. Since we've moved to Elk County I started smoking again.(Its been over 4 years since I quit, 4!!) Not everyday or through out the day, maybe 1 or 2 here and then 4 or 5 there. I don't buy them for myself or keep them on me during the day. KICK KICK KICK!!!! I'm totally disappointed in myself cause I said I would never do it again...it's dirty and gross and not to mention stinky and just something I never wanted to do in front of my son. Yes I'm tearing up just thinking about this. What a disappointment.....I keep saying well it doesn't control me it's just something to do socially or whatever but today, today it's all I want just to calm my nerves. UGH!

Trent seems to be a mess as well today and when my normally good little boy is having a rough day we battle each other a bit. I'm sure today it's the vibes I'm sending out that's setting him off but off to a nap he went! Its nice to know I can some what control the chaos in this house. Cranky not listening little boys can find their bed instead of sending my house into a nut house! 

So with all that and my dogs having allergy issues and a fear of fleas I'm just a tad overwhelmed and wishing it was bed time. I've gotta absolutely nothing done today and yet this day is flying right past me. Thank you Jesus for coffee !! 

Hoping everyone else is having a WAY better day then me and yes I realize my day isn't actually that bad but I'm having a nice little pity party for myself right now so just humor me a bit!